


Fail again. Fail better.

by NightingalesAndHandGrenades (NightingalesAndLions)



Category: Royal Pains
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-27
Updated: 2015-06-02
Packaged: 2018-04-01 13:14:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4021165
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NightingalesAndLions/pseuds/NightingalesAndHandGrenades
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Going to the Hamptons was never on the list of things Hank anticipated for the Summer. Falling in love - definitely not! And falling in love with a man who was way out of his reach - yes, only a Lawson could do something like that. Now Hank is in love and must keep it to himself through thick and thin. Can he do that? And is Boris truly out of his reach as Hank thinks?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The symptoms of Love

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Jade_Dragoness](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jade_Dragoness/gifts).



> Thank you to the amazing Jade_Dragoness for inspiration and keeping the fandom alive

Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try Again. Fail again. Fail better.  
-Samuel Beckett

It had always been a calling – being a doctor. Hank loved the job and loved the good, the bad and the ugly of being an ER doctor. He didn’t mind the flirting with patients and nurses and the occasional hate directed towards him from someone in pain. He loved his job and considered himself lucky for doing something he was passionate about. It was great. And then the whole mess with the Gardners happened and Hank was like a fish out of water – left on the beach to dry and die.

And he had to be honest - Evan’s appearance had made Hank put on some clothes and leave the city behind. He didn’t know that the impromptu sneaking in a party would mean he would be needed as a doctor and not as a simple random guest. When he saw the woman on the floor and the fancy doctor about to try and save her from something she didn’t have – Hank had to step in. 

His brain worked as fast as always – calculating, looking at symptoms, trying to dig as deep as possible as quickly as he could before the girl would be beyond the point of saving, He could feel the eyes on him and had to act fast. His brain shifted in the right gear and Hank ordered people around him. He was aware that the fancy doctor had been sent packing and the lifeguard was useless. Hank hated these over –paid-good-for-nothing doctors and people who in a crisis situation could do nothing but gape like whales on the shore.

Only after the girl was in bed and Hank was invited to the office he actually looked at his host. Boris Kuester von Jurgens-Ratenicz was nothing Hank had imagined. Well, he hadn’t spent too much of his time thinking about the owner of this house, no, this castle. Boris was very handsome. The silver hair only added to the charm and Hank caught himself staring. His host had a soft, knowing smile on his face and Hank forced himself to look away. 

Sexuality was something Hank was comfortable with, not only as a doctor but also as a person. He usually had eyes for ladies but had admitted to Evan at a very young age that his appreciation stretched further than just female population. However, he had just been left by a fiancée and the whole Gardner mess was still hanging over him, making it hard to think about relationships in general. The attractive owner of the Shadow Pond did not help the matter. Hank swallowed hard and dared to look at Boris who was talking even if Hank didn’t really pay attention. He said something about being a doctor on call for the rich and famous and Hank had to refuse. His pride was wounded by a rich family and he wasn’t sure about practicing medicine in general for a long, long time.

The gold bar and the events of the next couple of days didn’t erase the image of Boris and his smile from Hank’s brain as it was supposed to. It just got worse. So when they met on the driveway of Shadow Pond and Hank got to shake his hand, there were sparks running through Hank’s body and he couldn’t help the shiver that ran down his spine. 

It was, perhaps, the best time to recognize the symptoms. Hank Lawson had contracted the disease which had no cure he was aware of. He was growing very fond of his host. Perhaps now was the time for other symptoms to appear – denial, weakness, disbelief and the absolute inability to do anything about it. Boris was way out of Hank’s league and the man was an enigma.

What in all things holy was he going to do?


	2. A scrap, a flicker.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The city is the same as Hank remembers it. He is still trying to figure out both Boris and his own growing feelings for the man when the aristocrat summons Hank to the city.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have honestly no idea where this story is actually going but I know what I want to happen between these two. Stay with me.

“But you can build a future out of anything. A scrap, a flicker. The desire to go forward, slowly, one foot at a time. You can build an airy city out of ruins.”   
― Lauren Oliver, Pandemonium

Hank had no idea what happened with the blood sample he had collected from Boris. First, the blood had disappeared with no paperwork attached and then Boris had left Shadow Pond. Hank had spent hours thinking about this strange man who seemed to surround himself with mystery on purpose. Every time Hank thought he had Boris figured out, the guy did or said something that threw Hank back at the starting point and left him speechless. He had a shark in his basement, for crying out loud! And a girl could have died because of research she was doing with the shark. Hank still felt that James Bond would appear in his living room and demand to know where the owner of Shadow Pond was. 

Hank honestly tried to get rid of the image of Boris in his head. He saw patients and tried to balance his relationship with Evan in somewhat successful manner. Seeing Jill worked as a distraction for a while but if Hank was honest with himself, he really liked the woman professionally and she was very nice but he didn’t feel like a relationship would work. She thought so too and they just left it at that.

And when Boris summoned him to the city, Hank felt confused. If Boris wanted to be intimidating – he was doing a great job. Hank’s heart was going a million miles an hour and his confusion kept growing with each passing minute since his host once again was all clipped sentences and one word answers. Hank wasn’t sure what he wanted more – kiss him or slap him but he wanted Boris to say something that would make sense.

“I looked into your family’s history,” he finally said after taking a deep breath to ground himself and steady his voice. “What you have is genetic…”

“And, as you have discovered, quite lethal” 

“It doesn’t have to be…medicine is evolving…” he tried but Boris interrupted him, showing the lockbox back in its space with more force than necessary.

“Medicine is not sufficient!” there was something new in the aristocrat’s voice. Bitterness, anger… Hank realized that Boris was allowing himself to be vulnerable in front of his doctor. An emotional state he had never shown before and, Hank guessed, never showed to anyone outside perhaps his own private space. It was gone as soon as it appeared and Hank resisted an urge to touch Boris’ arm. 

“I’m, sorry, I’m just confused” the doctor said, falling into step with the older man. “You disappear…you’re sick but you won’t let me help you. You summon me to talk about my medical license … what is going on?”

“I want you to do something nobody would do for my father. Stay on with me, monitor me, help me manage my challenges…”

Couple of hours later he had a new suit and now he had to meet people who fired him from the hospital but his mind was fixed on Boris. Hank knew that the man possessed more resources and influence than was humanely possible but he wasn’t sure why Boris would spend so much time and effort to help him. Yes, he was a doctor and in his head Hank had already agreed to stay with the aristocrat through thick and thin. Perhaps it was just one of those things he would never understand because he wasn’t born in the life Boris called his own.

He was your typical emergency room doctor. Well, had been. And now he was a typical doctor on call for the rich and privileged. Maybe with more talent and attention to detail.

“Who is to say that I did anything? Perhaps the Gardners were moved by your idealism…you’ll leave me alone Hank?”

“Sure…”

Hank would have called him on the bullshit but Boris didn’t look ready to be interrupted by something like that. Hank was convinced Boris had done something to change the minds of the Gardners. He couldn’t prove it and that left him only to say thank you. He touched Boris’ arm for a second before he got up to leave the man alone.

“Hank,” the German spoke up. “Join me for dinner tonight. There is nothing like dining up here when the night has settled in and the lights of the city have been turned on”.

“I’d rather go back to the Hamptons and see if Divya needs help,” Hank offered.

“Please. I insist” and it sounded final.

Hank had notices that when Boris set his mind on something (really, sharks?) there was no stopping him. So he just nodded and prepared himself for the evening. Not that the company was bad or he didn’t want to spend an evening with luxury food and good drink. Putting all the mess of the day behind him had allowed Hank to go back to his original problem – his growing fondness for Boris. And he was ready to sell a kidney if he was wrong, because he could swear that Boris was flirting with him in a very controlled and subtle way. There had been not only the amazing cigars and great drinks, a suit, the dealing with the Gardners but also more personal things… a little smile when Boris thought Hank wasn’t looking, little butterfly touches to his arm or shoulder in a manner that could simply be dismissed. 

Hank sighed and looked into the bathroom mirror. Was he going to make an idiot out of himself? Perhaps. But the question was – was he wrong to assume Boris was fond of him as well? His integrity and medical skills, yes, the German had said to, but the personal aspect of his relationship with the man was still a huge question mark.


End file.
